Joke one:

A blonde walks into a barber shop with headphones on. She tells the barber what cut she wants, but that he has to cut around her headphones. The barber looks a little puzzled but agrees. So, he starts cutting the best he can but accidentally he knocks the headphones off. Within a few seconds the girl dies. Very startled, the man walks over and picks up the headphones to hear, "breathe in, breathe out."

Joke two:

Two blondes were walking down the street when one found a small mirror. She picked it up and looked in it. Puzzled she said, "I just know that I've seen this face somewhere before." The other blonde grabbed the mirror and said, "Give it to me." She looked into the mirror and said, "Well duh silly, it's me!"

Joke three:

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary items together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "There are no fish under the ice!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!" The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole.

And again the voice said, "There are no fish under the ice!" She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?" The voice replied, "No, I'm the Ice-Rink Manager!"