IRISH & DOG JOKES:

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Regular rocks are too heavy.

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They're always a little short.

How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
He's Dublin over with laughter!

How did the Irish Jig get started?
Too much to drink and not enough toilets!

What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?
A bachelor.

What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
St. O' Claus!

Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
To keep from falling in the stew!

Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
Yeah, they're great at shorthand!

How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
He took a shortcut!

What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
Short ribs!

Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
Because they're very short-tempered!

How do you catch a runaway dog?
Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!

What dog loves to take bubble baths?
A shampoodle!

What kind of dog does a vampire prefer?
Any kind of bloodhound!

What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
Wire haired terriers!

What do you call a happy Lassie?
A jolly collie!

What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A bud hound!

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

What is the dog’s favourite city?
New Yorkie!

Why did the dog cross the road?
To see his flat mate!